DOTD: It’s Gonna Be Alright

Today I went to church as per normal. I took the kids with me as the husband was working so he couldn’t use the time to spend with them. I hate to take time away from him… but Summer Sunday School is about to start and I think that would be much more beneficial for my kids than sitting in McDonalds with their weekend Dad while he tries to pretend all is okay. Plus my girls really enjoy dressing up and going to church. My son, who could use far more church time than the rest of us… always tries to find an excuse for why he can't go… that of course NEVER works.

As for my title today, I had been having a hard time lately. It’s getting harder knowing that my finances are non-existent… but today when leaving church my Pastor hugged me and whispered in my ear “I know it’s been hard, but it’s going to be alright”. I started to cry. Because it’s like he saw everything I’ve been through in the last 3 weeks. He could be reading my blog, but I seriously doubt it. Even so, the words spoke volumes to me. And I do know it will be alright. God has made a way out of no way thus far. He will continue to work great things in my life going forward. Now if I could just stop cussing full stop. Because sometimes… I have such a potty mouth. And that is the hardest thing to stop doing. It’s like I have Tourette's. I will drop an F-bomb with a quickness when things are extremely upsetting. Now once I stop doing that. Maybe people will see the new me. I tried saying Shut The Front Door the other day… my kids laughed for a solid 20 minutes. I thought they would never stop laughing. LOL!!

Before I do the outfit… I will leave you with this. As women we sometimes fish for compliments. You have to be careful what you ask. I asked a long time friend how I looked today, assuming the answer would be flattering… I was sadly mistaken. He told me I needed to exercise and my dress would look better. Deflated that balloon quickly. Won’t be fishing for compliments anytime soon… LMAO… that’s what I get… should’ve know better. Do you fish for compliments when you think you look great? Have you ever had the air let out of your head as quickly as I did? What do you think of this Dressbarn dress that I’ve had FOREVER?!

Outfit Breakdown:
Dress: Dressbarn
Brown tank: Wal-mart
Shoes: Bakers Shoes
Necklaces: Different Locations
Ring: Flea Market:
Bracelet: Birthday Gift
Earrings: Beauty Supply
Flower: Dots

Below see how my girls looked for church… Mari didn’t want to smile in the photos so her sister held her face into a smile… I thought that was adorable. My son is a teenager and wanted nothing to do with having his photo taken.

 
Both their dresses are from Wal-mart

DOTD: Happy Mother’s Day

As a mother it is easy for me to get wrapped up in the fact that I am a mother and to sometimes forget that I was mothered. My mother is dramatic. She sometimes makes it seem as though I am not a good daughter because I am not constantly calling her or in her house. It is not that, it is because as a unemployed (seriously broke) mother to 3 children… I want my kids to remember the times I was around. Not the times we had to eat noodles because we had no other food. Or the days we couldn’t go to the park because I had no gas in my car. I want them to remember the tickle fights. The moments when they did their first multiplication table all by themselves and I was there to witness it. I say this as a lead in to this…

Mom,
I remember the days you would sit down on my floor and watch Sesame Street with me. I remember the days you let me cry because I was being bullied. I remember how you taught me to stick up for myself. How you would go on my field trips. How you would go to my school and fight for me when no one else believed I was being picked on by my teacher. How you would spank me but then sit down afterward and tell me you beat me because you loved me and wanted me to be better than my mistakes. How you would do everything in your power to get me and my brother what we needed/wanted. How you sat and waited while I tried on dress after dress after dress for prom. How when I told you I was pregnant (and not married) you flipped out and then regained your composure to make sure I saw I doctor immediately. How you would not let me abort my son who I love and would have regretted not bringing into this world. How you helped me when I couldn’t afford to pay my rent as a single mother. How you bought me groceries as “gifts” because I didn’t qualify for food stamps. How you babysat for me when I was overstressed by being a single mother, student, and full time employee. How when the stressors of my life almost killed me and put me in the hospital for a week… you seemed to be constantly by my bedside. How we can laugh about how you found me before said hospital stay now because we made it through. How you still to this day try to stay involved when I am constantly pushing people away.

I know you think I don’t love you. I know you think I don’t care… I need you to know that I love you and you mean the world to me. But I want my children to remember the time with me as I remember the time with you. I want my kids to remember the time I was there for their important moments and events. So even though I am not calling as much as I should, or not visiting as much as you’d like… know that I am using the skills I learned from you as a mother to make my children remember me as fondly as I remember you and I. So on this Mother’s Day when I am the most financially unstable I think I’ve ever been… and my life is one constant storm after another… I am going to show you I love you the only way I can today… by being selfless… you wanted a dress. A dress I told you… that you couldn’t have… but I am posting this post to say… I love you and to also wish this dress a fond farewell. It is yours to have… because nothing I own… NOTHING I have… is more important than you.

I Love You!!
P.S. I know on days like today you miss your mom (my grandma) Carrie Lee… and I want you to know I miss her too. But I see bits of her spirit in my girls each day.

What I WAS Wearing This Mother’s Day:
Dress: Dressbarn
Sweater: Torrid 
Necklace: Burlington Coat Factory
Shoes: ebay (seller: feetishheels)
Earrings: Beauty Supply
Flower: Dots