Thursday, September 01, 2011

DOTD: Looking Soooo Familiar

Today’s title comes from the fact that I have worn a similar outfit like I don’t know how many times. But it also stems from the fact that when I was looking at these photos, I saw glimpses of my mother. I really look like her. More and more each day. I know that some people don’t want to look like their mothers… but my mother is beautiful and I love that I have pieces of her beauty on my face.

So this week, I have been feeling like crap. I caught a case of sadness that I couldn’t seem to shake. Until yesterday when it came crashing around my ankles. I just was not myself. My daycare provider noticed and so did hubby. He called me shortly after he left this morning to ask me what was wrong. I told him that I had no definitive answer. That I think I’m depressed… but that I had resumed taking my pills (I had missed a few days). He told me that I can’t wait until I fel badly to resume taking my pills. I have to take them everyday. I know he’s right. And I do try to take them each day. But some days… time gets away from me. And before you know it… I’m not well at all. I try to stay positive in mind and heart… but depression feels like I am carrying around another person on my shoulders. It’s exhausting. Everything seems to take 1000% more energy. Energy I don’t have.

But today… I felt like the old me. I even tweeted. Because I am medicated and I also told myself… Don’t let life get you down… especially when I have so many awesome loving people who care about me.

Enough about sadness… let’s talk… anger… I am short fused lately. So much so… I want to like punch complete strangers for just their random acts of stupidity. I mean… have you noticed that people do dumb *ish and then look at you like “what?” Would you like examples?

Okay yesterday I went to the grocery store for 2 items. I ended up getting stuck in the “express lane” for 10 minutes. This cashier was so damn slow and chatty. I wanted to scream!! Her dumb arse should have been on a regular line… NOT EXPRESS.

Also, my daughter got her hair done by a new shop. They did NOT do the job I am accustomed to and I found out after we got home… they had BURNED HER EAR!! WTH?!!! My baby said she didn’t say anything because she didn’t want to be a baby (how sad is that…) still mad about that.

Then the piece de resistance (so not spelling that right… I’m certain) But this a$$hole truck driver today decides… you know what… I want to be in the left lane… I think I will just get over. So he did, almost running over me in the process. So I took a picture of his license numbers  on the side of his truck. And I will be contacting his company. If he gets fired… oh well… he could kill someone… what a ginormous jackass.

Any way… I feel like maybe I’m being too sensitive. Maybe I’m filled with too much anger. But then another part of me wants to accept the fact that these things upset me. I am a firm believer that you have to embrace your feelings. Too many people are so busy trying to be calm and collected because they don’t want others to see them upset. But you know what? God gave us emotions for a reason. If he wanted us to always be muted and unfeeling, he wouldn’t have created such a wide range of emotions. I know far too many people who act as though showing emotion is being a drama queen. Then I want to be a drama queen and I want to be surrounded by drama queens. Because I like knowing when my friends are happy, sad, and angry. If you hold everything in… you’re just… I don’t know… boring? a step away from a stroke? You have to experience life and emotion. Even if it's something you think others may not want to see… because guess what? It’s not about them… You have to do you… because I’m going to be me… regardless!!! What do you think? Do you hold your feelings in or are you embracing your inner drama queen? When was the last time you cried and why? Now… onto the fashion…

Outfit Breakdown:
DIY Slouch Top: Wal-mart
Dress (worn as skirt): ASOS Curve
Shoes: Rack Room Shoes (Limelight)
Ring & Necklace & Sunglasses: Flea Market
Earrings: Beauty Supply

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