What Has Been Missing... and some awful outfit pics

Hola Divas,
Its been forever and I'm certain I've lost all my core fans. But I realized today... I'm not happy. And the reason I'm not happy is because I am no longer doing what used to bring me immense joy which is my blog.

This realization is what made me come to terms with the fact that I've got to get some things in order... and stat. First, I need to get my camera lens fixed. Second, I need to get my body back in shape to once again fit my favorite clothes. And last but not least, I need to make time to sit and blog about what is going on with me.

I loved coming home in a cute outfit to take pictures and then to sit and upload the pics with excitement and nervousness. Why nervous? Because as a blogger you always question how your outfit which you perceive to be amazing will be judged by the masses (yea... I say that like I have a huge fan base... lol). You hope and pray that the outfit you thought was dang near designer quality will be admired and used for inspiration for years to come (again it appears I think my blog is bigger than it is... trust me... I know better). But even with all the nervousness, fear, and criticism... blogging fed my desire to try harder... be more creative... and to take more risks with my fashion. Now I can't imagine going back to my humdrum fashion choices of 2009.

So even though the pics may suck... I will blog with my phone until my finances will allow me to fix my Canon camera lens... Below you will find a few outfits I was able to capture recently... again... I apologize in advance for the photo quality. hasta la proxima ~besitos~

Lo Quiero Ahora: Springtime Fun Needed Here…

Hola Divas…
So as you read on my previous post, I have a new job. And I am the salary with this job is going to afford me the opportunity to shop again. Well, not again but shop places other than Forever21+ and Target. Don’t get me wrong… I love the T & F21 but I miss being able to afford City Chic & Torrid. So this morning I woke up to browse some of my favorite online shops and pic some items that I thought would take my closet to the next level. Then I thought… why not share my loves with my readers so that they can see I’m serious about turning this blog around…

What do you think about my springtime wants?

Jade Garden Maxi – City Chic

Polka Dot Sheath – Monroe & Main 

Lauren by Ralph Lauren Manda Sleeveless Faux Wrap Dress – Macy’s

Twist Tee Striped Callie Off-Shoulder Tee – Torrid 

As you can see… I included a few of my favorite things: maxi dresses, stripes, polka dots, & color…. now if only the funds would align with my desires. Hasta la proxima ~besitos~

Six Take: No H8

Again I am late with the Six Take post but I have to be honest… I have been debating with myself whether or not I will continue to blog. I have been getting hit with some hater-ade lately and I just am to stressed and tired to keep dealing with it all. I just want to rest. And just surround myself with people I love and trust. But then I sat down today and I realize that this is what the “haters” want. They want me to give up and give in because at the end of the day… they want me to hate myself like they hate themselves. And you know what… I WON’T LET THEM WIN!!! So I decided to use this as my way to let people know… STOP IT!!!

Stop making people feel bad when you should be building them up. Use what your mother taught you as a child… “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. Some people can’t help themselves. Some people will make jokes when in reality they are just pretending to make light of how they really feel. I have to say… I probably was one of those people years ago. But now that I have kids and see how much these can things can break someone down… I cut that out. Here is what I say… before you say one negative thing to or about someone. Try and find 2 positives things to say instead. That is what I do. Instead of bringing attention to someone’s negative nasty attitude… I will compliment them on their outfit or hair (or both… lol). And before I know it… I don’t even think negative first… I always look for the brighter side of each person. That is a lesson I’m glad I’m learned. TRULY.

Now the outfit I picked today isn’t really one of my favorites but I LOVE these booties and this jacket. But the reason why these pictures are significant… Because I took these pictures in a busy park where everyone could see me and I was starred at. I had hubby there cheering me on and taking the pics as my support system, but I really wanted to embrace the No H8 confidence. I’m glad I did it. I feel like I made it through to the other side stronger and better…

And if you think I didn’t wear color today…never fear… I’m wearing bright purple eyeshadow that doesn’t come across in the photos… I’m still a color whore :)

What I’m Wearing Today:
Dress/Earrings: Burlington Coat Factory
Jacket: Mom’s Closet (years ago)
Booties: Bakers Shoes
Necklaces: Multiple Locations
Bracelets: Ashley Stewart

Now don’t forget to check out my six take bloggers family and their fabulous hate-free selves. Check out their sites and make sure you’re following them too:

• Chic in Every City (Jessica)

• Curvy Canadian (Karen)

• Stick Sweet Danish (Rikke)

• Too Many Sequins (Jessica)

• Queen Sized Flava (Sarah)

DOTD: Oceanic Blues

Okay… other than the fact that I’ve been the worst blogger ever… I haven’t had anything worthwhile going on lately. I’ve been trying my best to find a job as it has come to my attention that “the hubby” hasn’t been paying any of our bills. Yea… stressed much?!! And as I am about to go out of town… I just want to scream!!

But I refuse to let him win. I’m going on my trip because this a huge opportunity for me and my blog. Even if this means nothing to him, its very important to me. But when I get back, if I have to work as a stripper, maid, or prostitute… I will figure out a way to pay my bills… alone.

Anyway… the dress I’m wearing today I think has every color of the ocean…… I can’t explain it but to me it just conjures up thoughts of beaches and oceans. What do you think of this dress? Have you bought anything from Dots lately? What is your go-to Maxi dress and who is it by? (include pictures in the comments if you like). Also, are you tired of me wearing maxi dresses yet? lol

Outfit Breakdown:
Dress/Flower: Dots
Tank: Lei (Wal-mart)
Shoes: Paprika (ebay seller)
Bracelet: B-day gift
Ring: Burlington Coat Factory
**My mother would have a stroke if she knew that I left the house today with no earrings… no clue how that happened**

DOTD: Rollercoaster Rides Make Me Nauseous

Yesterday was too much. I made some connections so that I can have a place to stay for FFFWeek. And I found out that I should be able to pull this off financially. I was finally feeling much better about the trip. Some other goods news was received so my good mood was just sailing along. Also, I was fashionally (yes that is another of my made up words) fabulous yesterday.

Then, I got an email from my son’s school. And because of that I sent him a text message letting him know he would be grounded when he got home. I told him that there would be a note on our dry-erase board for him when he got home (yes… I’m one of THOSE moms). The note pretty much indicated that he was grounded, couldn’t have company, and his PlayStation 3 was in my truck.. with me.

Then something drama happened and it included the police getting called because my son tried to attack me.  My husband said that if he had been here it would have gone off differently. I said if he had been here he would be in jail and it would have been more drama then it was already. Not to mention, how is he going to say he would have protected me when he drinks like a fish and is stressing me out more than my son? I feel like the men in my family are trying to make me crazy. I feel like they are trying to see how much they can push me before I fall off the edge. I know you may think this is a bit much to disclose on my blog… but this was traumatic for me. My son has ADHD and his actions are questionable… but NEVER like this. I wanted to ask my readers if they have kids with ADHD, or if any of you work in the behavioral field and have information on any ADHD medications and therapies that may work better than what he is currently doing? I want my son back. He will continue to go to church with me, he will remain medicated, and he will see someone to talk out his frustrations. But anything additional that you know of would be greatly appreciated.

After all of the drama… I went to bed. I was worn out and stressed out and just sick. I didn’t eat dinner because my stomach was a bubbly mess.  We’re fine today… but he had an incident in school and got suspended this morning. So I really know now that he needs serious help.

How could a day start off so good and then end so terribly wrong? My son is now feeling better. He said he’s getting bullied and he took it out on the wrong person… me. I love him and I know he loves me. Yesterday was one of the worst of his life and mine. So today… I wanted to start it off nice and let it continue in a good way… And now that it is later in the afternoon… things are really looking… better.

The LORD is good,
   a refuge in times of trouble.
He cares for those who trust in him  Nahum 1:7 (NIV)

Now onto the fashion… I love this dress… wore it’s twin HERE. This one was longer than I remember… lol… but comfortable just the same. Thought it would be fun with this vest… and I finally got to wear these shoes for the second time. YAY!! What do you think of this outfit? Do you think the vest is too much? What fashion will be included in your 3 day Memorial Day weekend?

P.S. There was a police officer who watched me take these pictures… oh the pressure!!! lol!!!

Outfit Breakdown:
Dress: Target
Shoes: Liliana (ebay seller)
Vest & Flower: Dots
Necklace/Bracelet: Wal-mart
Earrings: Beauty Supply

DOTD: The Reason For My Style

Today I had an opportunity to give my testimony to a fellow church member. I told her how during the past few weeks I didn’t know how I would feed my children. How I didn’t know how I was going to pay my rent. And how I was at the lowest point of my life. And that when I thought I couldn’t take anymore, I was blessed by some very serious help. I am still not out of the water. I have to pay my truck and some other bills to be free of stress but I am truly at a place that I know it will all work out. But what made me want to share this here is that when I told her that she said, “But you always look so nice when you come to church” and I realize that is one reason I have a hard time convincing people that I am having hard times. What people need to know about me is this… I wear my style and fashion as my armor. I wear my clothing with pride because it makes me feel strong and able to combat whatever the world throws at me. Yes I am like a drop in the bucket from being homeless, but should I dress like I am destitute? Is it my job to prove to the world what I know is truth? I have to dress down in order to show my financial status? Really?!! Where they do that at?

So my friend sent me a text saying she needed me to pray for her because she was feeling guilty for feeling pretty today. She needed my proud-to-be-a-diva juice. I replied, “My style & your beauty is our armor for God. Wear it proud diva. No matter what!!” I believe that wholeheartedly. I think that God doesn’t say we have to dress like paupers in order to be good Christians. I for a fact know that ain’t true because I have YET to go to church and see the first lady of the church looking like a hot mess. My first lady is FABULOUS!!! Ya heard me?!!! She has on a fabulous suit, shoes, and matching hat every Sunday. She is a Diva with a capital “D”. But she wears her clothing and her faith with pride.

I think we all Christians and non-Christians… really need to stop judging peoples situation by the clothing on their backs. I know wealthy folks with a full wardrobe of track suits. And I know some folks who are on food stamps who dress like they work with Donald Trump. It’s really all about what you feel comfortable in and what armor (clothing) you need in order to combat your day or situation. Okay… I’m over my rant now. I hope that if you were maybe feeling guilty for looking nice or caring about your appearance… DON’T!!! It doesn’t make you vain, conceited, or an egomaniac. It makes you a person who cares what you reflect out into the world. I hope this post helps someone… if you need a chuckle and haven’t read my previous post… read it HERE

FASHION TIME!!!

Please note: I was going to wear this as a dress this morning… but when I got dressed… I realized I would get the “church frown” if I wore this short dress to church. Don’t be surprised if I wear it as a dress in August (it gets really HOT here). I added the pants and don’t regret it at all… loved how it turned out! What do you think?

Outfit Breakdown:
Dress/Tunic: Pure Energy (Target)
Pants: Torrid (purchased through fatshionxchange)
Tank: Wal-mart
Shoes: Shoedazzle (gifted by my mom)
Rings: Flea Market
Earrings: Beauty Supply
Flower: Dots
Anklet: gift from mom

City Chic Review: Sequin Paisley Goddess

Okay, have you noticed that when a woman wears a maxi dress that she has a particular walk that is at the least very hypnotic to watch. I say that because I found people looking at me a lot today and I don’t think it was me… I think it was the dress. I find myself watching other women walk in their maxi dresses. Their posture is straight and elongated. And the stride is like watching a goddess walk among her subjects.

This dress is the longest maxi dress I own. I spent a great deal of the day holding this up so it wouldn’t… well… get filthy… but I felt like royalty in this dress.

Pros:

1. The pattern: It’s black & white paisley. I have no idea why I don’t have more of this in my closet. But this pattern is sophisticated and fun.
2. The bust area is one of the few of this design that fits without me needing some crazy rigging system to keep me from having to pull it up every 15 minutes or so. I think I pulled this dress up twice… all day.
3. The sequins makes this dress perfect to dress up or to dress down. I feel like if I wanted to wear it to a wedding I could… but would feel equally comfortable wearing it to a bar-b-que.
4. The length: I love how long this dress is but that it is also a con because…

Cons:

1. The length: it is super long… and I need to wear this with heels… and today… I certainly did not want to wear heels or wedges or anything. So with this dress I am going to have to put up a little bit of an effort. Which is not really a con… but I know the length thing is up & down when it comes to maxi dresses.
2. It only comes in one color

THE DRESS:

When City Chic sent this dress to me… they wanted me to share it with my readers. If you want this dress and need to have it in your wardrobe… go to City Chic and add this dress to your cart and use the coupon code: diva for 10% off this dress. This code expires May 31st

HOW I REALLY WORE THE DRESS:

Jacket: Ashley Stewart ; Bag: Gifted ; Flower: Dots ; Shoes: Payless

DOTD: Happy Mother’s Day

As a mother it is easy for me to get wrapped up in the fact that I am a mother and to sometimes forget that I was mothered. My mother is dramatic. She sometimes makes it seem as though I am not a good daughter because I am not constantly calling her or in her house. It is not that, it is because as a unemployed (seriously broke) mother to 3 children… I want my kids to remember the times I was around. Not the times we had to eat noodles because we had no other food. Or the days we couldn’t go to the park because I had no gas in my car. I want them to remember the tickle fights. The moments when they did their first multiplication table all by themselves and I was there to witness it. I say this as a lead in to this…

Mom,
I remember the days you would sit down on my floor and watch Sesame Street with me. I remember the days you let me cry because I was being bullied. I remember how you taught me to stick up for myself. How you would go on my field trips. How you would go to my school and fight for me when no one else believed I was being picked on by my teacher. How you would spank me but then sit down afterward and tell me you beat me because you loved me and wanted me to be better than my mistakes. How you would do everything in your power to get me and my brother what we needed/wanted. How you sat and waited while I tried on dress after dress after dress for prom. How when I told you I was pregnant (and not married) you flipped out and then regained your composure to make sure I saw I doctor immediately. How you would not let me abort my son who I love and would have regretted not bringing into this world. How you helped me when I couldn’t afford to pay my rent as a single mother. How you bought me groceries as “gifts” because I didn’t qualify for food stamps. How you babysat for me when I was overstressed by being a single mother, student, and full time employee. How when the stressors of my life almost killed me and put me in the hospital for a week… you seemed to be constantly by my bedside. How we can laugh about how you found me before said hospital stay now because we made it through. How you still to this day try to stay involved when I am constantly pushing people away.

I know you think I don’t love you. I know you think I don’t care… I need you to know that I love you and you mean the world to me. But I want my children to remember the time with me as I remember the time with you. I want my kids to remember the time I was there for their important moments and events. So even though I am not calling as much as I should, or not visiting as much as you’d like… know that I am using the skills I learned from you as a mother to make my children remember me as fondly as I remember you and I. So on this Mother’s Day when I am the most financially unstable I think I’ve ever been… and my life is one constant storm after another… I am going to show you I love you the only way I can today… by being selfless… you wanted a dress. A dress I told you… that you couldn’t have… but I am posting this post to say… I love you and to also wish this dress a fond farewell. It is yours to have… because nothing I own… NOTHING I have… is more important than you.

I Love You!!
P.S. I know on days like today you miss your mom (my grandma) Carrie Lee… and I want you to know I miss her too. But I see bits of her spirit in my girls each day.

What I WAS Wearing This Mother’s Day:
Dress: Dressbarn
Sweater: Torrid 
Necklace: Burlington Coat Factory
Shoes: ebay (seller: feetishheels)
Earrings: Beauty Supply
Flower: Dots