Tuesday, January 11, 2011

DOTD: We're a bunch of "YES" Women

Stress Stress Stress…

I am experiencing a high level of stress. It was better than it was last week but it still affects the way I am and who the world sees. I felt that I should address stress today because I don’t have one single friend who isn’t going through something currently. I mean anxiety is high and I find that I am trying to be extra bubbly to compensate for friends that seem to be completely in the downers. Maybe that is why I was the way I was last week so that I could be stronger for the people I care about. You know that everyone has a different way of dealing with stress and no one person is the same. But I do know that with my level of stress I try to deal with what I can deal with and eff the rest…

As most of us are mothers, daughters, sisters, employees, bosses, and friends so the list of things for us to do is never ending. But you have to be able to know when to say.. WHEN. I am learning that I can’t be at every event planned by friends. I know I can’t attend every meeting. I also am learning that I can’t do everyone’s extra work when they can’t complete it. I am on a first come, first served basis. If I have no more to give when you need something, sorry, you should have come sooner. So when people try to push you to your limit, understand that saying no doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person. And if the person you have to tell no doesn’t like it and has a problem with you not doing what they want, then let them know a true friend (or family member) would understand that you are just one person and that you can’t do it all.

Stop being a YES WOMAN!!! I feel like the movie Yes Man speaks to me in a special way only I’m the opposite. I say yes to everyone until I am overcome with stuff that I can’t complete because I am overwhelmed. And now I am finally at a place where I am learning how to say NO!! and excepting that not everyone is going to be pleased with my new way of doing things. But I am going to put my family first and make sure my health is part of that and everything else can come in a distance 2nd.  Are you overwhelmed and overstressed?

Now the outfit, I wasn’t going to wear this today, but stress at work needed an outfit that was devoid of color. I meant to smile in the pictures… but I think I was so cold taking these pictures outside… I just wanted to be done with them… lol

Also, you can't tell in the pictures, but these are fishnet tights




  


What I'm wearing today:
Top: Newport News (I love the little flair out at the bottom
Skirt: ASOS Curve
Fishnet Tights: WeLoveColors
Taupe Stilettos: M.P.S. (Off Broadway Shoes)


~besitos~

27 comments:

PandaBear said...

I love your blog and I love the different outfits you have. I understand being a yes women we sometimes think we are superwomen and we want to help others as much as we can but sometimes it's ok to say no.

April D said...

It is SOO difficult to say "no". We're trained from the get-go that "no" is rude. To the point that we end up over-accepting and getting overwhelmed! I find myself trying to do that same over-bubbly compensation thing and it DOES get incredibly wearing. I hope you take some time for yourself to decompress!!

On the outfit: LOVE those shoes (and I'm not a shoe-person). Also I never think to pair a dark top with lighter bottoms and need to start doing that; it looks awesome!

Sarah said...

I LOVE this outfit on you - it is so classy! You look like you should be a secretary on Mad Men or something! Gorgeous!

Ashley Louise said...

I am sooooooo much a yes woman! I am always trying to do everything for everyone! I too am learning to say no, and it has made my life so much happier, healthier, and so much more peaceful. Good luck!

That aside, you look phenomenal! I actually like the lack of colour, and the little peplum effect on your top is adorable!! Your pumps are also fantstic! I love the little cut outs!

CurvyGirlChic said...

You might not like the neutral color palette but I think it looks amazing on you--definitely one of my favorite outfits of yours! The skirt is perfect. A longer length is awesome on you.

Love it!

xo Allison of CurvyGirlChic

Beej said...

Great, great post. It definitely needed to be said. The way I see it, the big problem with saying "no" is that it comes with a "you are not worthy of this, don't deserve it in some way and won't ever get it now" attitude that, when someone is dependent on you for things already.. can be impossible to swallow gracefully and patiently. Course, you could always just replace no with do it your damn self, but.. ^-^

Oh and spectacular outfit, you look radiant for not feeling like you wanted your picture taken.

REBEQUITA ROSE : Rebequita Rose´s XL Fashion Blog (In English and Español) said...

Oooh! Wow! I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE this outfit, Yolanda! It´s something I would totally wear! I have a white jumper in a similar shape to the top you are wearing here, and I keep meaning to wear it with my red knee-length "pencil" skirt, but haven´t got round to it yet! But this post has inspired me to get that look together! As for being a yes woman! We are taught that to be a good person, we must never say no to a person in need, but sometimes "no" is the only option. Just remember that a true friend will understand when that happens! Besitos :)

http://www.RebequitasFashionBlog.BlogSpot.com

Rebequita Rose

That fat-shionista's wardrobe said...

ooooh, those shoes, those shoes....and that top...and that skirt...and here you are talking about raiding my closet. i'll make you a deal, leave your key under the mat and i'll leave mine...that way we;ll both be happy. lol

QueenDiva said...

Thanks all for your comments and kind words... huge smile on my face!!!

@Fatshionista: Deal!!!

Mz B said...

I am in love with this outfit. I love the pepelum top and the skirt combo. yessss i love it!

Megan, The Frugalista Diaries said...

That look is fierce! Work it!

Anonymous said...

That is a fierce work look!

I hear you on the stress front. Am trying not to let my family & friends make me nuts, but it's tough.

Luvvi said...

This is one of my favourite outfits very simple, classic and understated but its so stylish!

Also very flattering!

I have learnt to be a little more selfish in recent years and now say "no" more frequently!!! Its empowering!

Anonymous said...

Sometimes it seems like so much effort to say no...which is suprising because I am selfish in other ways (mostly self-shopping).

Queen Diva - Over the past 2 years I have fallen insanely in love with taupe, so I think you look great. The fishnets and platforms are HOT!

Was just shopping on asos and purchased 3 taupey nude items... almost sprang for your skirt, but I have too much in the hip area to fit in an asos 26 pencil skirt. I will just have to live vicariously through you - so please don't pair this skirt with uggs or anything tie-dye or I will cry.

Anonymous said...

I absolutely love this outfit especially the top, like you, I love how it flares out. Also, I really like your post, it really spoke to me. It's so hard to say "no" to the people you love and care about especially when they clearly show that they are disappointed.

Lady Cardigan said...

Sarah said what I was going to say -- this is a really classy outfit. I love that top.

There's a lot of wisdom in this post. I am still trying to learn not to say yes to everything, or anything I don't want to do. It is a long process.

Leigh said...

i have been really stressed out too! i am applying for internships, and i am getting so stressed about all the work i have ahead of me! i feel your pain!!!

thelibertybelleblog.blogspot.com

Cid Style File said...

WOW! LOve this look. I really think this is my favorite outfit of all so far. You look so classy and chic. The skirt is fab, and the top is great!

Kheira said...

Love this outfit, mostly the shoes :)
xx

Anika http://www.sweetfacedstyle.blogspot.com said...

I am praying that you get a better job soon sweetie. You are wonderful! And beautiful :) And stylish. <3

sarahfancy said...

What a great outfit! You look amazing. I understand the Yes woman syndrome, been there done that. Trying to step away from the Yes thing and realize how hard it can be. Keep it up. Great blog!

Savonne said...

I so just peeped this. I love the entire look on you. Very chic!

Savonne said...

I so just peeped this. I love the entire look on you. Very chic!

Megan, The Frugalista Diaries said...

That look is fierce! Work it!

REBEQUITA ROSE : Rebequita Ros said...

Oooh! Wow! I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE this outfit, Yolanda! It´s something I would totally wear! I have a white jumper in a similar shape to the top you are wearing here, and I keep meaning to wear it with my red knee-length "pencil" skirt, but haven´t got round to it yet! But this post has inspired me to get that look together! As for being a yes woman! We are taught that to be a good person, we must never say no to a person in need, but sometimes "no" is the only option. Just remember that a true friend will understand when that happens! Besitos :)

http://www.RebequitasFashionBlog.BlogSpot.com

Rebequita Rose

PandaBear said...

I love your blog and I love the different outfits you have. I understand being a yes women we sometimes think we are superwomen and we want to help others as much as we can but sometimes it's ok to say no.

Sarah said...

I LOVE this outfit on you - it is so classy! You look like you should be a secretary on Mad Men or something! Gorgeous!

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