Imagine you are unemployed and you get offered the chance of a lifetime. It is your first year as a blogger and you are going to not only wear a sponsor retailer, you are going to attend the Finale Event in their place with VIP tickets. Now also imagine you have a husband and 3 kids and you take what is left of your savings account to make a trip to New York you can’t afford, happen regardless of your finances.
I won’t make this post about my trip to New York because there were actual parts of my trip that were awesome and I won’t confuse that post with this one. This post is about the Fatshion Industry. This is has to be said and addressed immediately.
I remember being about 24 when I realized that my size didn’t mean that I wasn’t beautiful. And then in my 30s I really put some eggs in the fashion and beauty basket and found that it made me happy, so I ran with it by styling others, blogging, and writing articles. However, recently,there has been some bad behavior amongst us fatshionistas, and I know my story isn’t the only one like this. I have to say that this undercutting and idea stealing and just general bad behavior shouldn’t be tolerated. I don’t understand why there seems to be more fighting and pettiness amongst us then in the regular size fashion industry. Haven’t we suffered enough? Haven’t we been picked on and prosecuted enough to only want the best for the others who are like us?
That was a preamble to let you know that at Full Fashion Week, I did not have a good time. The fashion was wonderful, but I watched US eyeball each other like we were ugly and dirty. I saw people ignore others, and I experienced firsthand being pushed aside for a model who wanted to speak to someone else while I was there already having a conversation. That is just plain rude, in the words of my girl Maine (Charmaine) “Where they do that at?” When did that behavior start being tolerated… by anyone? Then to make this event an even more shit storm… I find that waiting in line to have my picture taken didn’t mean that your picture would actually be included among the “beautiful” people. Apparently they decided to post pics of who they felt should be posted. I do understand that I could just contact this man for copies of my pics, but why should I have to? Why would I want to give my hard earned money to a man who didn’t deem ME important enough to be in the initial sets of prints? Not to mention I was not only wearing a dress from a sponsor but I was also there on her behave. If I were the actual retailer, I would keep my money next year.
I've been told multiple times this week that this industry is like high school and there are cliques, well… I am too old for this shyte… and I won’t support an event or person that tolerates people to be excluded based on no actual reason other than they aren’t “FAMOUS” enough…
Seriously trying to decide if next years event is worth me making the effort to attend.
I am curious to hear your opinions or what you would have done in my situation. Do you think that I am overreacting?
~besitos~
QueenDiva
10 comments:
I am really sorry this happened to you. I really am. But I think that sometimes (me included) we are a little naive and we think that because we are all in the same boat (fat here) people will start acting nice to each other. I think that just with a regular fashion show there are nice and not so nice people. It'll always be a competition for something. Nothing will change that unfortunately and I am sorry you had to experience it.
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It really does suck that you did not enjoy yourself at FFFW. The fashion industry is actually VERY selective and you really have to have a thick skin to deal with it...fatshion or not. I guess, we expect the plus size industry to be forgiving because we all know what it's like to be the butt of jokes. We know what it's like to be stared down and whispered about to another person just because of what we are wearing. So I think we place higher expectations on our group, a group of women that we can relate to. We expect large women to be cordial because we share a common thing, being fat/curvy/plump/fluffy whatever the case may be. But in actually, plus size women can be just as mean, vindictive and rude as a slim person. Size has nothing to do with it.
I give you props for trying and I don't think that should steer you away from attending next years events or other events. The industry won't change unfortunately, but that doesn't mean that you give up on doing something that you enjoy. :) Keep at it. I had issues when I first started modeling, now, I've developed a tougher, thicker skin and I don't take things as personally. It does suck to shoot with a photographer and you think you two made amazing images and then you click his portfolio only to see that you're not in there. :-/ It happens to even the best of us.
I totally agree with Nik, it doesn't matter that this fashion event was for Full Figured woman (aka fat), sadly no matter the size some will be still be catty and just bitchy! Not only is the fashion industry, whether your thin or fat, base on looks, the prettier the better right! Its all one big popularity contest as well. We all know this, we sadly think sometimes because we are adults we won't have to deal with childish games. I have learned a long time ago that it doesn't matter your age or the industry you work in these issues happen every where. Its our society that has been conditioned to think this way, the "beautiful", "popular" and "chosen" people deemed worthy. Well I don't play that game that's why I started blogging and that's why I do my thing regardless of what any one says or thinks of me, my blog or my style. It does hurt Yolanda, I am not gonna lie, but you have to keep being yourself, regardless of what happens. Those who can see the beauty in you inside & out will appreciate you. Those who don't, well you just "kick them to the curb!" You do have to develop a thick skin, just like Nik said. I really hope this experience does not discourage you from doing what you love. I am really sad to hear FFF week was a bust for you. There will be bigger and better things to come, so keep your spirit up! <3
Well Said Ladies, ok Yoli as your BFF for like EVER! You know I love you more than anything. And that I would be the first one to say " AW Hell NAW! WE takin them bitches down!" but really ( and yes I am really gonna say this) What good would it do to show our asses? None. And thats exactly what these hookers need to realize. We are ALL women of size. And just because we are all from the same Sisterhood of BBW's doesnt mean that some of us dont have a lack of manners and respect for others. Maybe the chica that interrupted you had no home training, or maybe she is just a bitch who knows. But I have NEVER in the 11 years that I have known you, ever let something like that detur you from something YOU want. Yeah, they were rude, but that doesnt mean you give up. If you want it YOU GET IT! and leave those nasty beotches in your wake Momma when you are the one that they are rushing to interview. ;) Keep your head up. Dont let one bad event ruin your path. You are stronger than that :) Stick with it and know that They may think that they are something for getting their pics chosen, but their actions and attitude make them ugly. WE love you and WE are all here to support you. <3
I think all of the ladies have made excellent points. I would ask, how did u feel about yourself that day.. were you on you "A" game. I mean, we all can smell fear.. and the ones who lose their strength when they are defeated will be the first to get run over. BUT, we cant let that stop us from moving forward.. I have checked myself a few times in a bathroom.."uhm, excuse me ms kameel, whats up.. get it together" We have to sometimes. In addition I learned a long time ago that sometimes we have to lower our expectations of others and live in the moment. Enjoy the experience or you could miss it! .. and dont let this one incident dictate how you will react or behave or attend future events. its one time. Release it and move it.. its waaay more fun the next time around, cuz then you know how to handle them fools..
[kameel getting pushed over. she says, "Oh its nice to meet you tooo... (to the model) well.. I guess we were finished talking. I'll catch up with you later."]
I can't say that I wouldn't be pissed off for not getting posted on the photog's website among the other 2000 pics that were, but at the same time I would make my own damn tv show with my $120 camera that does pics and video and 2 memory cards. I would post them and get my own attention. Don't give up and be your own star. I am frustrated with " making" it to but it only makes me want it more. Maybe we will meet at a future event. :0 shhh!!!
wow, that really sucks. It especially sucks that you had to sacrifice so much to go there and be treated that way. I read the other comments, and while it's true that no matter the size, people are still gonna be rude, you'd think that at a fashion event people would at least be civil and polite. I'm sorry to hear you had a bad time, but like Dawn said, don't let it deter you from going for what you really want.
It really does suck that you did not enjoy yourself at FFFW. The fashion industry is actually VERY selective and you really have to have a thick skin to deal with it...fatshion or not. I guess, we expect the plus size industry to be forgiving because we all know what it's like to be the butt of jokes. We know what it's like to be stared down and whispered about to another person just because of what we are wearing. So I think we place higher expectations on our group, a group of women that we can relate to. We expect large women to be cordial because we share a common thing, being fat/curvy/plump/fluffy whatever the case may be. But in actually, plus size women can be just as mean, vindictive and rude as a slim person. Size has nothing to do with it.
I give you props for trying and I don't think that should steer you away from attending next years events or other events. The industry won't change unfortunately, but that doesn't mean that you give up on doing something that you enjoy. :) Keep at it. I had issues when I first started modeling, now, I've developed a tougher, thicker skin and I don't take things as personally. It does suck to shoot with a photographer and you think you two made amazing images and then you click his portfolio only to see that you're not in there. :-/ It happens to even the best of us.
I totally agree with Nik, it doesn't matter that this fashion event was for Full Figured woman (aka fat), sadly no matter the size some will be still be catty and just bitchy! Not only is the fashion industry, whether your thin or fat, base on looks, the prettier the better right! Its all one big popularity contest as well. We all know this, we sadly think sometimes because we are adults we won't have to deal with childish games. I have learned a long time ago that it doesn't matter your age or the industry you work in these issues happen every where. Its our society that has been conditioned to think this way, the "beautiful", "popular" and "chosen" people deemed worthy. Well I don't play that game that's why I started blogging and that's why I do my thing regardless of what any one says or thinks of me, my blog or my style. It does hurt Yolanda, I am not gonna lie, but you have to keep being yourself, regardless of what happens. Those who can see the beauty in you inside & out will appreciate you. Those who don't, well you just "kick them to the curb!" You do have to develop a thick skin, just like Nik said. I really hope this experience does not discourage you from doing what you love. I am really sad to hear FFF week was a bust for you. There will be bigger and better things to come, so keep your spirit up! <3
WOW! I am shocked, because you look so happy in all of the accounts and pics; I'm sorry that happened but girl, brush that off your shoulder.
Bad behavior is one of the great equalizers, you don't have to look a certain way to act an ass. Here's the thing to keep in mind---we're all people, and people regardless of the package they're in can be dumbasses with no home training.
Focus on the good things that happened, and all the amazing things that fell into place for you to go in the first place. Don't let others steal your good, and don't you hand it over willingly either. You looked so totally beautiful in the pictures, and if that photographer's pics of you are gorgeous and you can afford them, buy em! Who cares what he thinks--is he paying your bills?
It's all about you, Yoli... and what you'll do with the experiences you've had. The only have the meaning you give to them.
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