Today has been an emotional day. It started out so well and has painfully gone downhill. I had an interview via phone that I think went well and hope leads to a job. I also had complete strangers come up to me and ask me about my leggings. I seriously made ASOS some money today… but the point of this post is related to them so I will get to it…
I am sorry… to my readers. I am trying my best to be a moral blogger and to make my fashion life real to my readers. But the problem is that I am living large chucks out of what should be said. Aside from the spider post, I have been lazy with my posts. Why? Because when I ask questions in my posts, no one ever answers the questions. I just get “great dress”, “looking good”, and other such comments. The compliments are appreciated but I noticed that if I asked a question that no one would answer the question. So I realized that people were looking at the pictures because its easiest and fastest way to browse a blog, leave a comment and then I assume move on to another blog. As I know I am not the only fatshion blogger out there, I try to make the outfits speak for themselves as that is the heart of my blog. Now some of my friends on bbm and twitter knew how deep in depression I had fallen recently. I did not leave my bed for days and my husband actually said the words, “you’re scaring me”. So he and my mom did something to pull me together. Now will I say that purchasing leggings made me feel better? No. I suffer from a condition that requires medication that I cannot afford because I no longer have medical insurance so I am taking it sporadically. But their concern and their consequent bride made me get myself slightly together and scrub off all the sad feelings. Now anything you buy from overseas usually costs a million dollars but due to free US Shipping and a code I felt those leggings were worth getting.
Now, Jessie made a valid point. I was shopping about a month or so ago like I was still employed but all that changed and I began selling some pieces from my closet (including… gasp… shoes!!!)
This has been a growth period for me. Anyone who knows me knows that I will shop to keep the demons at bay… but it’s a temporary fix. And usually I could work around it to the next paycheck, but now that doesn’t exist… so I had to put on my big girl panties and stop being so selfish. I’m proud of my growth and restraint during this time. I hadn’t completely stopped until recently, but I realized that I have more than enough items in my closet to keep me sustained until I start another job.
Jessie,
I believe you are also the person who made a donation to my blog and with that I could understand why you would be angry. Again, I apologize if you thought I was taking said donation to the nearest store to shop. I am not. All money is given to hubby who combines it to pay subsequent bills, the leggings were a gift. I will return the donation to you if that is what you would like. I would never ever want you to feel you helped someone who did not deserve your heartfelt contribution. I appreciate your loyalty to my blog and I pray you continue to read my blog. My readers mean everything to me, and even when I lose one… its like losing a long lost friend.
~besitos~
Yoli
9 comments:
I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch, and I'm sorry that you also lost a follower, but don't give up. Depression is no joke, I know from first hand experince, but you musn't give into it. I know it's easier said than done, but you've got to keep going, don't be consumed by the negativity. When I feel that I'm about to slip into negative thinking or a negative mood, I start to say out loud, what I'm grateful for.
For instance Yolanda, you have a wonderful husband, you have beautiful children, you still have a roof over your head, you still blog regularly, that right there is 4 things to be grateful for. Turn your thinking around, don't give up! You'll find a job! Keep the faith hun, I'll be praying for you.
Also, perhaps instead of doing OOTD's regularly, try and write a post with no pictures, I'm sure you'll get a response then.
Sending positive vibes your way!
<3
Yolanda,
I am not upset or angry. I will still read and enjoy your blog! I check it every day and actually read your posts!
Thank you for clarifying the shopping situation. I think consigning your clothes is a great idea. There is a local consignment store in my town with a great plus size section that I enjoy shopping at. I really hope that your phone interview leads to a good job situation!
If someone donates money to you, they gave it to you. They do not get to dictate what you spend it on. As for donations, usually bloggers as for that as a contribution because a reader enjoys content, not as charity. I don't think you did anything wrong by purchasing a pair of leggings. It wasn't a Coach bag for heavens sake. And you certainly didn't have to publicly explain yourself. Best wishes with the depression, but don't let this get you down.
I also don't see why it's such a big deal if you buy yourself something. When people give you money, it becomes your money. You're a fashion blogger and therefore obviously, clothes are important. If you continue to spend some money in order to hopefully make more, then that's not so bad. I think that you are responsible enough to know when enough is enough.
BTW, I ALWAYS read all your posts. I don't always comment, but I do read them and look at the pictures.
Yolanda sweetheart, I am touched by your honesty. You are a wonderful person and I support and love you! I have battled depression as well, and can only say that my heart goes out to you. I know how lonely this battle can feel, even with a loving family. Hang in there, I will pray for you as well love. You need not apologize for using donations however you see fit, it is a gift to you, for you to enjoy! I take to heart what you say about leaving comments, and apologize to you if I have not showed you how much I appreciate and care about you. sending you and your fam lots of love, Anika
1. I'm happy about the way you chose to handle this. So many people would have replied with a bitchy comment and it could have gone horrible wrong. I love that you took time to see Jessie's point of view and chose to explain, though you didn't have to.
2. I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through hard times. I'm especially sorry to hear that you've been feeling this way. Though I haven't experienced depression first handedly, I know how it feels to be sad and just down, I can't imagine feeling that way day in and day out. It is very understandable that you would look to something that made you feel happy, if only for a day. Being a fashionista, of course buying clothes would be the answer. I don't think anybody, that follows a fashion blog, would argue with that. We all understand how it feels when we're feeling down and we go and buy that perfect dress ( sometimes it's as good as any pill).
3. Hang in there sweetheart. I hope you get the job and I hope all the wonderful words your followers have been leaving will cheer you up.
You say right out that the blog is your job right now. People get to spend the profits from their jobs any way they wish.
When I visit a blog, I almost always read the whole post even though I don't always make smart replies (or any reply). Often I can't think of anything useful to say, but if I like an outfit a lot, I try to take a moment to say so.
I've been seriously depressed. It is a dark place. In my experience, over time it will lift. Till then remember people care about you, including some people you don't know.
Take it from me that whoever donated to you wanted you to spend it on something to make yourself feel better. You do not have to live like a monk just because you are unemployed. You are allowed to spend money on yourself. Keep writing here, and feel free to write about your life without pictures when you want or need to. I am reading. I don't know you personally but I have the utmost love and respect for who you are and both how you write and how awesome you look.
Take it from me that whoever donated to you wanted you to spend it on something to make yourself feel better. You do not have to live like a monk just because you are unemployed. You are allowed to spend money on yourself. Keep writing here, and feel free to write about your life without pictures when you want or need to. I am reading. I don't know you personally but I have the utmost love and respect for who you are and both how you write and how awesome you look.
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