Yesterday I had a conversation with a coworker about a conversation I had with one of my closest friends a few weeks ago. She stated that sometimes it was "too much" to deal with my "look at me" personality. And I was explaining to my coworker that this statement caused me to step back from this friend a bit. I don't tell her about my blog or about my fashions. I don't do this because I don't want to annoy her and I get the feeling my love of fashion annoys the crap out of her. But what she fails to realize as a thinner woman (and even when she was larger she had the "right" curves) is that when you're plus sized you are either Schloppy & Schlepy or Phabulously Phat. So when she turns heads in a tank top and sweatpants... that same look would get frowns from most if it were on my frame.
I have to work extra hard to get fashion respect because I am larger than a size 12. She doesn't have to work nearly as hard. She doesn't try at all (most of the time) and she still gets compliments. I have to practically copy the cover of a magazine to get half a compliment. To some you may think I try too hard, but in reality... if I didn't try... I wouldn't be myself... and I would leave myself open to criticism of my size. And I will fight before I admit I am not "Size Sexy".
Now back to the outfit... since starting this blog, I realize I hold myself to a higher standard when I dress in the morning. If I want to be comfortable... I still try to do comfort with flair. Well... I hope that little diatribe has helped someone, now on to the OOTD (it is not DOTD... because I so didn't feel like doing my makeup today... so... I didn't)...
Outfit Breakdown:
Dress: Torrid
Capri Leggings: Wal-Mart
Shoes: Kate Preston (Off Broadway)
Jacket: Torrid
Earrings: Beauty Supply
Ring: Torrid
~besitios~
17 comments:
I know exactly what you mean. Some people can roll out of bed, thrown on some lip gloss and jeans and a tank and look like a million bucks. I think I clean up not too bad, but it definitely takes some work. I would look like a slob in the same ensemble. I get comments all the time about how I'm always so dressed up, fortunately most of them are really positive though. It could be your friend is actually feeling drab compared to you (which isn't at all your fault, she could put in the time if she wanted) Looking at your pics, you always look fab. Love today's dress and shoes.
wait a minute, one of your closest friends can't handle your personality?
Doesn't sound like a true friend to me!
and I totally understand you...
REMAIN TRUE TO YOURSELF!
I agree with Lodi @ Pallor Princess! Remain true to yourself and who you are. If you like crazy fashion, keep it going! Don't stop! :) Maybe your friend IS feeling a bit insecure. See, even smaller women have self esteem issues. Perhaps there's a bit of jealousy? I think that you should talk to that "friend" and decide if that is what her position really is.
BTW, love the dress and the shoes! :))
Wow, I totally understand what you mean. MY friends are all super skinny and they can throw on a tank, shorts, and flip flops and they'd still look cute. I have to actually work at it and I have to take into consideration that certain things will not work on me. I'm ok with it now, but in order for me to look and feel fashionable I pretty much have to go all out. I also don't tell them about my blog because I don't think they really understand why I love fashion and why I get so excited when something looks good on me.
I think you have a great attitude about yourself and so long as you're happy, let the haters hate. You have to love yourself first, and if that takes going all out and embracing a more awesome sense of fashion, then so be it. I personally love your style.
I smell HATERADE!!! Many skinny women cannot stand it when a PHAT girl looks better than her. Ditch her honey-she's not really your friend. One of my friends isn't into fashion either but you know what she say's to me when she sees me all dolled up -"YOU GO GIRL!!!"
pffssh she doesn't sound like a true friends, you don't need no haters. Stay true to the beautiful you. If she doesn't like it she isn't worthy of being your friend, her loss.
Cute Outfit!
Check out the blog!
http://sagaofafatshionista.blogspot.com/
XOXO
I LOVE YOU !!! well, i love what you had to say. I am a 45 yr.old newbie fashion blogger, and I feel so bad about my age sometimes. I have heard bloggers make fun of older bloggers and it always cuts me to the quick. I keep on plugging and trying to remind myself I am beautiful, too. Soo nice to find your blog. I will be following you! Stop by sometime ! Great spirits have always struggled against fierce opposition from mediocre minds ! (Einstein said it, not me!)
Remember what Monique, said "SKINNY WOMEN ARE EVIL". Maybe she is just hungry and needs to eat a little bit. You know "we" (F.A.T. chicks) get a little evil when "we" don't eat. LOL
Anyway I agree with the rest of the F.A.T chicks stay true to your self and let the haters hate.
Screw your friend. Dress for yourself and how you feel.
I just tagged you for an award! Stop by and pick it up!!!
I think your coworker probably just doesn't realize what kind of bias she has. As "women of a certain size" we are supposed to be invisible and so it offends societal norms when we are proud of who we are or dress nicely or make an effort to get noticed. I don't know that she realized exactly how biased she was being, but probably thought it was a personality thing and didn't realize she wouldn't be saying the same thing about other people. I see keep at it, stay who you are, and don't let society change you. GREAT dress btw, I LOVE that plaid is everywhere again.
Sounds like a shitty friend to me girl!
By the way I have that same dress, I will have to do an OOTD on it soon!
Xoxo
Stiletto
It could be your friend is actually feeling drab compared to you (which isn't at all your fault, she could put in the time if she wanted) Looking at your pics, you always look fab. Love today's dress and shoes.
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Looking good! I love what you did with this dress.
It could be your friend is actually feeling drab compared to you (which isn't at all your fault, she could put in the time if she wanted) Looking at your pics, you always look fab. Love today's dress and shoes.
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Remember what Monique, said "SKINNY WOMEN ARE EVIL". Maybe she is just hungry and needs to eat a little bit. You know "we" (F.A.T. chicks) get a little evil when "we" don't eat. LOL
Anyway I agree with the rest of the F.A.T chicks stay true to your self and let the haters hate.
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